Four Months

One third of Malcolm’s first year is officially behind us! Yikes! This month Malcolm visited the daycare at our gym for the first time so that this Mommy could get in a little exercise that doesn’t involve carrying a baby, pushing a stroller, or coordinating with Daddy’s schedule after work! Fortunately, the 9:30 a.m. group classes coordinate nicely with his morning nap. One of the daycare employees happened to notice us in the pool a few weeks ago and commented how he always falls asleep easily while he’s there! The best part of the facility is there are two cameras set up that correspond with channels on the machine televisions, so I can keep an eye on him while I’m squeezing in my cardio!

Other firsts for Malcolm this month include meeting our amazing (might-as-well-be-family) friend Jane and her sweet granddaughter while they were visiting the Windy City! Daddy even got in some solo time with Malcolm while the girls went to see the Jungle Book musical downtown! (The costumes were incredible!) The bonus time with Daddy opportunely came right before J headed to Albuquerque to celebrate his Granny’s 90^th Birthday! The (very short) weekend trip was planned when we were still expecting Malcolm, and not knowing what to anticipate as far as his health, we decided to send J alone and wait to introduce Malcolm to the crew in New Mexico when we’re there at Thanksgiving.

On Malcolm’s three-month birthday, we had a chance to meet several new (to us) couples who live in the Oak Park area and attend our same church! Since discovering we live within blocks of one couple (although we’ll be wishing them bon voyage soon), Malcolm and I managed to meet Mrs. Remy for lunch and a walk around the neighborhood twice this month!

Our big project this month has been reorganizing our home office. Jordan and I bought a 1928 Berwyn Bungalow in April of last year. It had already been extensively renovated by a contractor who purchased it shortly after it was foreclosed on in 2010, but we have invested additional blood, sweat, and tears making it home. Aside from some long term plans to improve the yard, basement, and add a bathroom on the second floor, the last room needing some TLC is/was the office. To my shame, it had become the “don’t know what to do with this, stick it upstairs and deal with it later” room. Well, we decided that “later” is now and I had my work cut out for me!

When Jordan and I got married we just combined the files we both maintained in one big filing cabinet, but never really combed through to determine what we needed to keep. We just celebrated our five year anniversary on August 9^th, so as you can imagine we’ve accumulated additional paperwork in that time, particularly since I got pregnant! My word, I never knew that having a baby came with so much paper! When I finally sat down to tackle my paper hoard, I was on the phone with my mom and absently mused how I could really use her help with Malcolm so I could stay focused! She called me back an hour later asking if I was serious, to which I excitedly answered, “YES!” and shortly thereafter she had a ticket to arrive three days later!

Anyone who knows my mother knows that she is a talented seamstress! When we bought the house last year she came for a few weeks and managed to sew absolutely GORGEOUS floor length grommetted curtains for nearly every room in the house! Other than the basement, guess which room was the only one lacking curtains? We set up camp upstairs while I sorted, Momsie sewed, and we took turns entertaining MW! After three days of hard work (seriously people – we had restaurant receipts dating back to 2004), Momsie managed to complete curtains for the office and alter the curtains in our master bedroom, and I managed to condense six completely full filing cabinet drawers into two (and about ten trash bags). To reward ourselves for a job well done (even though I still have a few items to sort through) we spent the last day of her visit soaking in the beautiful day by walking around an outdoor shopping center!

It felt so good to purge so many things from our home, I am completely embracing the “live with less” philosophy! Nothing is safe - the Amazon trade-in store is my new best friend! One motivation for organizing the office is that I am now officially working on a from home, part-time, hourly contract basis for my company! As my maternity leave was vanishing like quicksand, the idea of putting Malcolm in daycare (for more than an hour at a time) brought on the waterworks. I completely understand that some families do not have a choice in the matter, or that some mom’s feel like they actually parent better when they are employed outside of the home, but personally, I can’t imagine missing a single milestone. I went in to talk it over with my amazing boss, fully expecting an affable parting of ways, but to my delight he offered this alternative! I will basically handle overflow at busy times, so as of yet I haven’t been assigned anything, but I am thrilled that the door isn’t closing on my experience as an environmental consultant and we’ll have a little supplemental cash flow!

Speaking of supplemental income, I have also recently seized an opportunity to become a brand partner for a skincare company called Nerium International. Pregnancy was basically like second puberty to my skin – only worse! I suddenly had skin discoloration I’ve never had before and breakouts in new places. I was hesitant to try any new skin treatment when I was pregnant or breastfeeding, but a college friend started posting about her experience with Nerium on Facebook and I HAD to ask. She has one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know (I mean, the girl works from home running a non-profit that builds wells in Uganda dedicated to stillborn children like her sweet son Holden), so I knew she wouldn’t sell me a bad bill of goods. She had some facial scarring that significantly diminished after a month of using Nerium and decided to get on board (despite a previous negative experience with direct sales) because she believes in the product. I decided to try it out for a month (there’s a 30-day money back guarantee) and after seeing improvements in my skin I was sold on it, too! Nerium is all-natural (would be certified organic if it didn't contain collagen). It was developed during skin cancer research at M.D. Anderson while studying the effects of the Nerium oleander leaf. It's a proprietary blend, primarily used as an anti-aging product, but it tightens pores, so it also reduces acne, skin discoloration, and the appearance of scars and stretch marks. There are only two products: the original Nerium AD night cream and the new day cream for accelerating results. In clinical trials, subjects using Nerium saw around 30% reduction in wrinkles versus most cosmetic counter products which test around 2-4%. End of sales pitch (and I’ll try to avoid this in the future), but if anyone wants more information check out: www.emussett.nerium.com

Back to Malcolm Wayne (everyone’s favorite topic), he actually changed his mind about swimming this month and really started to enjoy the water, he’s also discovered he loves sticking out his tongue and rolling from side to side on his activity mat! He hit a big milestone the day before his four-month birthday: rolling from tummy to back (finally)! His schedule is about the same as it was last month, other than a minor hiccup in the few days following his four-month shots. Poor guy took the shots like a champ, but ran a fever and had some bruising on his legs for about three days after. He is really discovering his voice this month and does this adorable screech that seems to take a lot of effort based on how red his face gets and how he seems to run out of breath toward the end of the sound! He’s getting really good at coordinating his hands together to grab anything he wants to, which is really unfortunately for my hair! Even when it’s in a ponytail he somehow manages to painfully yank strands out of the hair tie from the base of my neck – yowza! Speaking of hair, I had NO clue that postpartum hair loss would be THIS bad! I am literally pulling out handfuls when I shampoo – how much is too much ladies? I’m surprised I don’t have bald patches!

And this month’s baby product shout outs go to…

• The Wubbanub! After seeing several hip moms around the city sporting these little stuffed animals attached to soothies I decided we needed to give it a try! Finding two dinosaur ones at Diapers.com sealed the deal! Malcolm loves to snuggle up with the little toys while he’s sucking away and I love that it virtually eliminates the vanishing pacifier dilemma!
• I’ve had several people inquire about the glider and ottoman we chose for Malcolm’s room (search “dinosaur nursery” on Pinterest and you’ll see that his room is famous – so cool!). It is the Luca Glider and Ottoman in Heather Grey from the Land of Nod. I love not only the chic look, but the arm rests are perfectly positioned for nursing and spit up cleans off of the fabric really well (something I never would’ve thought of before having a baby).
• I did some serious research and debating before selecting a diaper bag. I loved the look of the Petunia Pickle Bottom bags, but thought they may be too feminine for Jordan to feel comfortable carrying. Also, the attached changing pad on the PPB bags seemed less functional to me than one I could remove to use easily on any surface. After googling “Best Diaper Bag 2013” and seeing the Skip Hop Studio Diaper Bag on literally every list I looked at (usually in the number one position) I decided that was the bag for me, and I’m thrilled with the choice. The Skip Hop Studio was one of the only bags with two insulated exterior pockets and a large exterior antimicrobial pocket. It’s a great size, not GIANT, but large enough to fit everything we need including his K’Tan wrap, which I carry everywhere (and love).
• When we were looking at monitors, I was really hoping we could get something that would integrate with our iPhones; however, after reading product reviews on the options out there, I came to the conclusion that the technology is just not where it needs to be yet. Too many reviews identified instances where the camera lost signal in the middle of the night or horrific stories about cameras being hacked by online predators. Based on this research, we decided to go with the Motorola Digital Video Baby Monitor with 3.5” Color Screen and Two Wireless Cameras with Pan, Tilt & Zoom. We originally planned on purchasing the model with a single camera, but Babies R Us was running a special on the two camera model, which turned into a happy coincidence. I LOVE having two cameras so that one can be permanently stationed for crib viewing and the second can be easily relocated as needed. The video function turns off after a certain amount of time to conserve battery when it’s not plugged in, which doesn’t bother us (you still get audio and can hit a button to resume video at any time). The video is so clear that you can see his chest moving up and down, and, similarly, I can hear him breathing over the audio so long as our air conditioner doesn’t kick on.
• I have to admit, I have some serious mom/citizen of planet Earth guilt over using disposable diapers. I am the first to applaud moms who utilize cloth alternatives, but I just wasn’t ready to make that commitment. Some of the cloth diapering brands that were recommended to me came at such a high startup cost (granted I know I’ll spend more in the long run on disposables), that I knew if we went that route we couldn’t afford to change our minds. Now that Malcolm is here, he keeps me so occupied with laundering clothes covered in spit up, I think my washer might protest if we threw nappies into the mix! All of that said, since Malcolm has been born we have used Pampers Swaddlers Sensitive diapers exclusively and I have been very pleased with them. Knock on wood, we have not had a single instance of diaper rash in four months and VERY few leaks.

The First Three Months with My Roly Poly

This has been the fastest three months of my life! In the same way that those last few weeks of pregnancy seem to drag, these first thirteen weeks of Malcolm’s life have flown by! In the 96 days we’ve had Malcolm, we have had out of town visitors all but 42 of them! I’m always telling people that he’s really popular around our house!

Malcolm has already experienced many firsts. He came home from the hospital at three days old on May 6^th. On May 8^th (five days old), he had his first outing to do some grocery shopping at Target with Momsie and Aunt Molly. He went to church for the first time on Mother’s Day, when he was only nine days old! He dined out for the first time for lunch at the Cheesecake Factory with Mommy, Momsie, Aunt Molly, and Grandma Gini when he was 11 days old! He slept through the night for the first time at 13 days old, and has continued to do so fairly consistently! He went to the Brookfield Zoo for the first time with Grandpa Doug and Grandma Cathy on May 20^th (17 days old). Momsie gave him his first fully submerged bath and Popsicle gave him his first bottle of breast milk (outside of the hospital) while Mommy and Momsie were grocery shopping on May 26^th (23 days old)! Malcolm first met Aunt Poo-Poo-Head (or as some people know her, Sarah) just in time for his one month birthday!

Even in the hospital he had a lot of neck strength, but he was holding his head up really well by six weeks, which is around the same time Jordan and I went on our first date since Malcolm’s birth to see Man of Steel (while Momsie babysat) and we celebrated Jordan’s first Father’s Day! At seven weeks, we celebrated Jordan’s 28^th birthday with pizza and ice cream at home, compliments of Vicki while she was visiting from Alaska. At eight weeks, Malcolm had his first visit to downtown Chicago for dinner at Lou Malnoti’s with Auntie A and Spencer during their visit from New Mexico!

We spent Malcolm’s first Independence Day with friends visiting from Dallas, Christine and Nick, at the Shedd Aquarium, then watched the Navy Pier fireworks from the aquarium lawn (Malcolm may have watched them through his eyelids)! By nine weeks, Malcolm had discovered his hands and loves reaching for toys – especially his links! On July 8^th, Momsie came for moral support while Mommy and Malcolm suffered through his first immunizations at his two-month pediatric appointment. His face became red as a tomato during the injections, but he calmed down very quickly with a few Mommy snuggles (which I needed as much as he did)! By two months, he was sitting up very well assisted and continues to require less assistance with each passing day!

On July 10^th, he had his first bus ride downtown to meet Daddy for lunch and then make a second trip to the aquarium. Malcolm LOVES watching the fish and seemed particularly mesmerized by the dolphins. At 11 weeks, when Grandma Gini and Grandpa Kyle came to visit, Malcolm toured the Frank Lloyd Wright Home and Studio for the first time and attended his first church picnic downtown at Diversey Park! On his three-month birthday, Jordan and I took him swimming for the first time at the indoor pool at our gym. Malcolm did NOT enjoy that particular first, but in his defense the water was a bit chilly! This week we’re looking forward to a visit from our good friend Jane and celebrating Jordan’s and my five-year wedding anniversary!

Malcolm's Popsicle was photographed in this same crocheted cap in 1961:

Our amazing photographer, Krista Ripke of Krista Ann Photography in Plainfield, Illinois, used the same basket in his newborn shoot! I couldn't believe how much bigger he looked in it:

In between all of the out of town visitors, we’ve also had numerous visits with our local friends, including Malcolm’s first backyard barbecue hosted by my friend Sam! Several particularly generous friends from church have saved me from cooking by providing delicious dinners for us at times when we didn’t have other visitors cooking.

Sometimes I feel completely overwhelmed by the ways God has blessed our family. We have really had very few struggles as new parents. Very early on we were having some difficulties with breastfeeding. Malcolm being tongue-tied prohibited proper latching, and even after his frenulectomy, the healing process made it challenging. Fortunately, Good Sam has amazing lactation consultants on staff who suggested using a nipple shield as a temporary measure to allow Malcolm to nurse. Malcolm caught on to using the shield right away and by his second weigh-in on May 18^th (ten days old) he had gained enough weight that we no longer had to wake him up for feedings! I would’ve paid $1,000 for that piece of silicon since it let me nurse my baby when I probably would have been unable to otherwise! That said, it was a bit of a pain to use and I was anxious to transition him off of it and directly onto the nipple. When it looked like his tongue was completely healed, we had two outpatient appointments with the lactation department to help him make the transition. During the first appointment, the consultant identified that Malcolm was not opening his mouth wide enough to take in the aereola, so she directed us to finger feed him three times a day to encourage him to open his mouth further. The night before our second appointment on May 30^th, I e-mailed two girlfriends from church asking them to pray over the situation, and almost immediately after I sent the e-mails Malcolm latched on sans shield and we’ve never looked back! I know that God loves Malcolm, so I know it shouldn’t surprise me to see Him intervene on even something so simple, but it was a moment that brought tears to my eyes!

Here is Malcolm finger feeding:

We’re developing a really great routine! Malcolm typically goes to bed between 8:00 and 9:00 p.m. and sleeps an average of seven hours (sometimes as much as nine and a half) before waking up for an hour to eat between 3:00 and 4:00 a.m. He usually sleeps another three to four hours, which puts our official wake up time between 7:00 and 8:00 a.m. After being unzipped from his Woombie, Malcolm always starts the day with a BIG stretch and a gummy grin. This is his most active and happy time of day! He usually takes a brief nap around 9:30, but goes down for a two to three hour nap about 12:30 p.m. – it’s like clockwork! Malcolm is really only grumpy right before bed, so unfortunately that’s a lot of what Jordan sees after work. I know Jordan tries to soak up morning play time when he can on the weekends. Now that Malcolm is three months old, he can attend the daycare at our gym while I work out, which is the newest element in our daily schedule!

Malcolm is a happy little guy and enjoys most things! He loves the aquarium, walks outside, video chatting with extended family, being naked, taking warm baths, having his hair brushed, playing with links, having his chin tickled, having his gums rubbed, playing with his hands, sleeping in his Woombie, pooping in a clean diaper, reading Peter Pan, and singing. Malcolm’s favorite songs are Jesus Loves Me, Bringing Home a Baby Bumblebee, and (his VERY favorite) Roly Poly! Malcolm does NOT enjoy tummy time (or as he likes to think of it, his daily torture time), getting OUT of the bath, swimming, car alarms or sirens, or when Mommy eats spicy food or garlic.

This is Malcolm enjoying the dolphins at the Shedd:

I'll end with a shout out to some of our favorite baby products:

• An app is a baby product, right? J and I rely heavily on our Baby Connect iPhone app that allows us to track a variety of metrics and automatically sync with each other.
• We've been very pleased with our Graco Snugride 35 Click Connect and Snugrider Elite Stroller Frame! The system is VERY user friendly, budget friendly, and I feel confident that he is safe when we're traveling.
• Malcolm LOVES to spend time in his mamaRoo, which connects directly to an iPod so he can jam out to praise tunes, while he's bouncing like a kangaroo! He loves when I attach his links to the mobile to play with.
• We were advocating Aden + Anais swaddle blankets months before Prince George was spotted in one! They are perfect for covering his car seat to block out sun and keep strangers from touching him in public, but light and breathable so I don't feel like he's being stifled by the summer heat.
• My favorite burp cloths are the Gerber Flannel Burp Cloths you can find at Target. They are larger than most burp cloths and absorb well without soaking through to your clothes underneath.
• Speaking of spit up protection, Tommee Tippee Milk Bibs are amazing! The absorbent roll at the top is perfect for catching dribbles that would otherwise work their way to the back of his onesie.
• Last, but not least, we COULD NOT SURVIVE without our Woombie! We loved the newborn one so much, we've since upgraded to the "big baby" size with separate legs. It suppresses his startle reflex, which allows him to sleep soundly, and since it's a consistent part of his bedtime routine I think it helps signal to him that it's time to go to bed. I really need to invest in a backup because I think we could kiss sleeping goodbye for the night if something were to decommission the one we have.

The One with the Birth Story

Malcolm is one month and two days old and I am finally completing his birth story! We’ve had a barrage of guests, which has been such a blessing, but hasn’t left me with a lot of time alone with my thoughts. Now that we’re developing a daily routine, I’ve decided it’s time to bump my writing up the list of priorities! This will be pretty lengthy and detailed, so if you’re squeamish about words like “dilation” I advise you to read no further!

At 38 weeks pregnant, Malcolm was sitting cross-legged with the top of his head wedged against my right bottom rib. Jordan and I struggled at length in the weeks prior whether or not to attempt an external cephalic version. I discussed the procedure with three of the four obstetricians in the practice and received mixed advice. Ultimately, we felt I was not a good candidate, as version is not typically as successful with first-time pregnancies as with subsequent ones, and Malcolm was not a frank breech (which increases the rate of success). In light of this decision, my doctor scheduled a cesarean section for 9:30 a.m. on Monday, May 6, 2013.

Before we knew Malcolm was breech, Jordan and I had put a lot of thought into developing a natural birth plan. I think the Lord used pregnancy as another opportunity to demonstrate that I am not in control of my life! I was disappointed that we had to go the c-section route, but ultimately I just wanted what was best for both of us.

My last day of work was Wednesday, May 1^st, which happens to coincide with the Illinois EPA deadlines for Annual Emission Report and Annual Compliance Certification submittals. I think my managers were relieved Malcolm didn’t make an appearance before then! My mom arrived the next morning and we enjoyed an entire day just the two of us (in her words, I’m still her baby)! We went to my pre-op appointment together that afternoon to check on Malcolm, get all the details about the surgery, and sign consent forms.

When the nurse used the Doppler to listen to his heart tones, they noticed some irregularity, so they hooked us up to a fetal monitor. We waited in the office hooked up to the monitor for about an hour and a half until the doctor was satisfied that the changes in Malcolm’s heart rate were just related to contractions (that I didn’t even realize I was having at the time). The internal check found that my cervix was still hard and closed, so the doctor sent me home intending to stick to our planned schedule.

The next morning, we should’ve known I was close to labor because I was unusually emotional about getting our car into the dealership for servicing! Fortunately, they were able to squeeze us in for an appointment, so my mom and I took it out to the dealership and were given a loaner car. We had pedicures, lunch, and were doing a little shopping at Target when I was suddenly hit with contractions strong enough to bring tears to my eyes around 3:00 p.m. We quickly finished our shopping, and I called Jordan to let him know I thought he should start heading home from work (his commute takes about an hour each way), but we still hadn’t received a call from Subaru that our car was ready. We headed back to the dealership in the loaner hoping they were close.

While we were sitting in the Subaru waiting room, we started to time contractions. They were irregular, coming anywhere from 5 to 15 minutes apart. The cashier at the Subaru dealership noticed what we were doing and was able to motivate the technician to wrap things up for us! She even gave us a pass on the fact that we forgot to fill the loaner up with gas before coming back!

While my mom drove us back to the house, I called my doctor and told him what was going on. He said since I wasn’t dilated at all the previous day and the contractions were irregular, he thought I was probably not in active labor and told me to go lie down and call back if they started coming five minutes apart for an hour straight. Jordan was already there when we got home and I immediately got in the shower since they had instructed me to do so prior to the c-section, and I knew deep down this was it! When I got out, we’d skipped five minutes apart entirely and gone right to four minutes. When it had been this way for an hour, Jordan called the doctor and we headed to the hospital. At 7:00 p.m., when we arrived at the emergency room entrance, the contractions were one minute in duration and coming two and a half minutes apart.

My mom and Jordan had to jog to keep up with the nurse pushing the wheelchair taking me to the birthing center! When I got to the labor room, the nurse instructed me to change into the hospital gown, at which point we realized I was bleeding. She immediately started an IV and told me that the operating room was currently occupied by another woman having a c-section, but the anesthesiologist would see me next to start my epidural or spinal for the procedure. When she finished the IV, she did an internal check and realized that my bag was bulging and she could feel Malcolm’s foot! I was fairly distracted at this point, but my mom said that she shouted “O.R. stat” out the door and our room was suddenly full of nurses! I felt the overwhelming urge to push, but they kept telling me not to. I told them if I couldn’t push they needed to get him out (telling someone not to push is akin to telling someone not to throw up once they’ve already started)! 

They wheeled me into an alternate operating room (I vaguely remember someone saying something about whether the gurney would even fit in there because the room was fairly crowded with other equipment). When they measured me on the operating table, I was fully dilated and my water immediately broke. They said there wouldn’t be time to do a spinal or epidural, so I would have to go under general anesthesia for the surgery. Sadly, this meant Jordan would not be able to be in the room for Malcolm’s debut. They were speculating as to whether they would have to call in an alternate doctor when mine arrived, just I the nick of time! The last thing I remember was Dr. Barbour looking over me saying, “Emily, I’m here,” followed by the anesthesiologist saying, “It’s time to go to sleep now, goodnight, goodnight.”

I woke up in the recovery room with Jordan sitting to my right holding Malcolm. I was relieved to see them like that because I knew Malcolm must be doing well if they were letting Jordan just sit there and hold him! I think Jordan enjoyed it too because he got about 20 minutes with Malcolm all to himself while they were getting my pain under control. Jordan informed me that Malcolm Wayne officially arrived at 7:44 p.m. on Friday, May 3, 2013 (less than 45 minutes after we arrived at the hospital), weighing 6 pounds, 12 ounces, and measuring 19 ¼ inches long. J got to come into the O.R. when they had Malcolm under the heater and take a few pictures. We were allowed to make calls from the recovery room, so we called our parents, starting with my mom in the hospital waiting room, to fill them in on the good news. We were in the recovery room for about two hours before being moved to the post-partum unit. My mom got to give Malcolm a brief snuggle before he was whisked away to the nursery for his first thorough checkup and she had to go since visiting hours were over.

Malcolm inherited ankyloglossia (commonly known as being “tongue-tied”) from me (and I inherited it from my dad), so he had a frenulectomy just before leaving the hospital (it’s a small procedure where they cut the frenulum - the band of tissue that connects the bottom of the tongue to the floor of the mouth). I think the circumcision and frenulectomy were harder on me than they were on him! Although, the poor baby may have been a little worried about what they might cut next if we didn’t get him out of there (hehe)! 

We were discharged around 9:30 p.m. on Monday, May 6^th. Our stay at Advocate Good Samaritan Hospital went by in a flash thanks to the amazing staff there! We had a nice private room and received excellent care and support from the nurses. Fortunately, we also had amazing support waiting for us at home! Malcolm has officially met all but one of his grandparents and has also been visited by his Aunt Molly and, most recently, his Aunt Sarah! I’ll write a separate post with all of our lessons and his accomplishments in his first month. It still seems to me like we JUST brought him home, and my parents assure me I’ll still feel this way the day he graduates high school, college, gets married, and has children of his own! I thank God every day for blessing us with this little boy!